all sense aside

I am Mike. I live in the Bronx.
[Yankees] [bacon] [music] [weed] [video games] [the cats] [hiking]
[Twitter] [Last.fm]

This is mostly drawings of penises in amusing locations.

Bacon Fried Rice

A bunch of Twitter humans have expressed interest in this recipe, so I am posting it here to make it easy to share. Keep in mind that I am very much of the “add the amount that looks right to you” school of cooking, rather than specific amounts, but I will try to give rough estimates for the sake of simplicity and clarity. If you go by the quantities I’m using here you’re going to end up with a truckload of food, since I usually wind up making a batch of veggie fried rice for the woman when I cook this, so feel free to halve things.

Ingredients:

  • One decent sized yellow squash or two of the smaller ones.
  • An amount of carrots that is very difficult for me to specify. I work with baby carrots and just chop them up till I feel like I have enough.
  • A cup of peas or so.
  • Five cloves of garlic (I am heavy handed as fuck with garlic, so feel free to trim this down).
  • A Vidalia onion.
  • Five pieces of bacon.
  • One fresh habanero (optional, but holy fuck does this make it tasty).
  • Cooking oil.
  • About a large white rice. I actually buy the rice from the Chinese place up the block because I am lazy and they have a rice cooker.
  • A thing of soy sauce.
  • Two or three eggs.

Chop all of the veggies up into small pieces (aside from the peas. You don’t need to chop peas, dummy.), as well as the bacon. Whip the eggs till the texture and color is nice and consistent.

Put the bacon into a saucepan or frying pan or whatever the hell it’s called, along with your chopped habanero and a few pinches of garlic. Render it on a low/ low-medium flame till the bacon is nice and crispy and the pan is full of delicious bacon fat (that is now infused with habanero and garlic).

Remove the bacon from the pan, and add the onions, peas, squash, carrots and some more garlic. Stir them around and add some soy sauce, then let them sautee in the rendered fat for a few minutes (till the carrots are kind of soft and the squash is a bit translucent).

Add the rice to the pan, and stir it around a bit so it soaks up the bacon grease. If the pan is starting to look dry before you add the rice, you can push the veggies off to the edges of the pan and throw a touch of cooking oil om the middle before you add the rice. Once it’s picked up some of the grease/ oil, mix the bacon in and start stirring a little bit of soy sauce into the rice. Stir it around a bit so it picks up more of the flavor from the grease and veggies.

Once the rice is getting nice and brown, push everything off to the edges of the pan so you have a nice, empty circle right in the middle. Slowly pour the whipped egg into that circle, and scramble it with a fork as you go. If you start to get too much liquid and not enough scrambled egg, stop pouring for a minute, let the egg that’s already in the pan scramble up, mix it in with the rice/ veggies, and add slowly add/ scramble the rest of your egg.

Stir all of the egg into the rice for a few minutes and you’re done.

New virus FWDs from grandmothers rule

Subject: Fwd: : Read Immediately-Serious  Subject: Read Immediately-Serious Anyone-using Internet mail such as Yahoo, Hotmail, AOL and so on. This information arrived this morning, Direct from both Microsoft and Norton. Please send it to everybody you know who has Access to the Internet. You may receive an apparently harmless e-mail titled Here you have it If you open the file, a message will appear on your screen saying: ‘It is too late now, your life is no longer beautiful, f*** you and die….’ 

Subsequently you will LOSE EVERYTHING IN YOUR PC. And the person who sent it to you will gain access to your Name, e-mail and password, etc. This is a new virus which started to circulate on Saturday afternoon. AOL has already confirmed the severity, and the antivirus software’s are not capable of destroying it. 

The virus has been created by a hacker who calls himself ‘life owner’. 

PLEASE SEND A COPY OF THIS E-MAIL TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS, And ask them to PASS IT ON IMMEDIATELY! 

THIS HAS BEEN CONFIRMED BY SNOPES. 
http://www.snopes.com/computer/virus/hereyouhave.asp 

The s’mores brownies. We went light on the marshmallows, but added peanut butter. Victory.

The s’mores brownies. We went light on the marshmallows, but added peanut butter. Victory.

I ate this earlier. Not pictured: habanero mustard.

(Bacon explosion with duck bacon, braciole and chorizo.)

I ate this earlier. Not pictured: habanero mustard.

(Bacon explosion with duck bacon, braciole and chorizo.)
Tonight is a good night.

Tonight is a good night.

I am looking at this site

But I am not posting anything of consequence. I should be asleep.

everyone has a player that they like from a rival team

downtotheniittygriitty:

situasian-:

bobhadbitchtits-:

partytillyoupuke-:

Not in baseball.

But what if I love

  • Mark Tiexiera,
  • Brett Gardner,
  • Nick Swisher,
  • Robbie Cano,

and

  • CC Sabathia,

But still hate the Yankees?

And of course, Carl Crawford, even though the Red Sox are shit?

/:

I don’t like anyone on the White Sox, Twins, Royals or Ind— okay, that’s kind of a lie. I have an odd fascination with Lou Marson. :/

tim wakefield & dustin pedroia.

Agree with Wake, liked Timlin when he was there, hope Pedroia’s brother mistakes him for a ten year old and fucks him to death.

Fun fact

I will one day have a bear as a pet.

nervousness:

(via: dog walking bristol)

joepawl:

If people can eke out a controversy, even if none exists, they will. When RIM blocked Kik, a new smartphone instant messaging service, people turned it into way more than it was. Did RIM really block Kik because it saw a threat to its BlackBerry Messenger service?

The only evidence behind the…

Not to change the subject and take this into self-congratulatory territory, but this is exactly why I love the Android platform. Taking motive and controversy (manufactured or otherwise) out of the equation for a moment, this is just another example of a manufacturer treating their customers like they’re renting the device that they paid for.

I can’t really speak for Blackberry or RIM, as I’ve not had any of their devices, but I had an iPhone for quite a while before switching to my Droid; all things considered, I was happy with it. That being said, for a device that was touted as being able to do everything, it felt like there was a ton of stuff that it could do, but didn’t, simply because Apple or AT&T didn’t want it to be done. you brought up tethering on Twitter; that is an absolutely perfect example. Granted it’s not something that is enabled by default, but with all of the one-click root apps out there, and the fact that the tethering app itself sits in the App Market uncontested, it’s something that a user with limited technical proficiency would be able to get up and running without much effort or attempted hindrance on the end of the device manufacturer or Google’s end.

It’s a longshot, but my hope is that the Android platform’s openness starts to force the hand of other smartphone manufacturers in the long run. I’ve heard that you can now get Google Voice running on iPhones, so maybe other companies are starting to realize that hamstringing their consumers in terms of what features that can and can’t use isn’t always in their best interest.

(Source: )

jaymegonz:

Jalapeno cheddar cornbread

I want to eat this. A lot.

jaymegonz:

Jalapeno cheddar cornbread

I want to eat this. A lot.

(Source: headtowall)

Automated Vomit = Dumb as Hell

I disabled the last.fm spam, then went back and deleted all of the ones that it had already shit out. Nobody should give a shit how much Rachel’s or 7,000 Dying Rats I listen to without any discussion about why I love them.

The next step is making my page not as brown.

“can I print out a picture of a fishercat and hold it up in front of the house and you take a picture?
better yet, can we get fishercat stickers printed at kinkos
and put them on the local stop signs”
Becky, on visiting a house that Kenny Singleton used to lived in; he once made reference to “not knowing what a fishercat is, but not wanting to meet one in the dark” during a Yankee broadcast.
Something along these lines would be mandatory for me to refer to something as a dream house.

Something along these lines would be mandatory for me to refer to something as a dream house.

True story

I slept for like two and a half hours, then woke up and ate ice cream for dinner.

The ice cream was good, as was the nap.

Theme by paulstraw.